I'd always wanted to become as cold-hearted as a stone in order not to let everything get to me but I'm such a big softie that even sad people on TV make me sad. And I'm not even close to my period. So I'm either PMSing or period-crying, or maybe I'm really just a little emotion-bag full of compassion for strangers.
I also depend on the opinions of others as far as I need to be assured that they don't hate me. If I feel dislike, first 'my heart weeps' and then I do. Secretly. And munch up the sadness. Multiply that by 1000 if it's winter. You know that I hate darkness.
I'm sometimes fond of and I sometimes hate digging up memory-related things like songs or photos. A single song that I've listened to many times might just lead to a big fat explosion of sounds, visions, smells, tastes in my mind. No, I'm not drugged, just writing down the feeling I get when I do remember for once. I can unfortunately and fortunately remember things related to songs best and while it's mostly a very good ability, sometimes I feel it may just contribute to my weirdness even more.
Just as my susceptibility to emotional change through songs. I'm happy and it seems that it may always stay that way? Play a sad song, any, and I'll feel able to cry ever so soon.
I've always been that way though, that's not something started by my hormonal change.
(If you wonder what inspired this, first it was the unfair mobbing of Coach Beiste in Glee and then the preview of Kurt's father in coma they showed about 1000 times. And halfway I started crying about how dark it was already. Then I worked out some, bought an epilator and an eyeshadow palette on Amazon, was briefly happy and got sad again. Now I'm playing Layton. What an evening. Also, the time 23:10 seems so special to me and I can't figure out why, I had to stare at my phone's clock display until it changed to 23:11 because I was mesmerized! AGAIN, NO I'M NOT DRUGGED)
5 comments:
...That seems pretty normal to me. Happens to everyone, it's just that people don't talk about it
Even the staring-at-a-certain-time thing, I do that
I read somewhere on some shiznat-supernatural portal that people who often see times like 22:22, 11:11, 3:33... are apparently some light-guardians or stuff, I can't remember. Like, I see those times all the time, whenever I wake up at night it's usually 3:33. Guardian of light? Hell naw, but connected to my last post it has a funny undertone to assume that ;)
That's where I'm weird, I have no problem with talking about the stuff no one talks about :D (In Italy during lunchtime we talked about baby-poop, but most baby-parents do that a lot, I've heard, so I've got my aunt as an excuse :D)
Baby poop is green!
Haha, had to laugh a lot :)
I know that, too. Most time of the holidays I had that feeling ;)
Baby poop's every colour, believe me, I changed my cousin's diapers loads of time. At first it's like a coal brick, black and hard, sometimes it's yellow and runny, really, it's different all the time and at first it doesn't even stink.
But we were a bit concerned about my cousin because he'd had a fever one night and didn't eat, so we talked about his poop, which is normal poop, really XD
I could write a sermon here :)
Ah, it's good that I'm not the only person in the world that feels and thinks that way :D
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