Now, I've gotten really sentimental. But you know, I often tend to think about my past. It's so sad and pathetic because I can't bring it back. I'm really shedding a little tear here. You remember my time-rant on New Year's Eve? Well, it's been stuck on my mind! It's already almost MAY! And I'm getting unhappy thinking about how I'm growing older, how it seems just yesterday that I started school. Just yesterday that I was so little, not caring about anything. And even though this is inappropriate right now, just yesterday that my dad died. I kinda would've needed him in the last three years. It just robbed me of the last remains of my childhood. Sometimes I wonder if I could've become any different if this hadn't happened. Perhaps I would be more blue-eyed, more innocent, more actually believing in a perfect world rather than just dreaming of it.
But of course, you will never know. And I guess we have to accept the present as it is, because we CAN'T change it. We can only make the best of it. This is what I'm trying to do every day.
And I'm going to buy some DVDs of the shows, so I will always be able to watch them. Golden Girls, Fresh Prince, Full House, Home Improvement, you're all gonna be MINE!
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| Hello Jesse Katsopolis! And hello to your mullet, too! And to your armpithair, too?! - Hello Danny Tanner, it's like your eyes are trying to tattoo some rules and JUUUSTICE into my brain even after all these years! (Though they were quite dreamy guys, you have to admit! They're the heroes of my childhood!) |
(Real real ending note, sorry for that rather heavy and sad post, it just came over me. My apologies!)
5 comments:
Alas, I must be a victim of PMS, I just almost cried on an episode of My Name Is Earl because I found Earl's father unbelievably cruel and it made me feel very very bad. Stupid being a girl >.<
Ah, PMT/PMS is natural, it sucks that girls have to go through it. But just remember... you're gonna feel happy again after it.
As for the nostalgia talk... I totally get what you mean. When we're little everything's so... innocent and exciting. TV was good, video games were amazing... everything was perfect. And now it's just study study study, future future future. But to be fair, I've definitely changed as a person. I'm a much better person now than I was... even a year ago.
We can't do anything about time, it just moves on... but all we can do to feel better is learn from experiences and better ourselves as people as we go on. Find new happiness, wade through bad events (they're going to happen to everybody no matter what) and look for the best in everything and everyone. It's hard but... what's the point of living if we're not gonna be happy?
What happened with your dad... really wasn't fair on him, you or anyone. He seemed like a great guy from what you've said about him. But it's always the best people who leave us early. At least he's away from any suffering he had, looking down on you from heaven knowing you're safe. You'll always be his daughter.
Sorry for my rather long essay about life there, but it's something I sometimes think about myself. I think everybody does, but we've just got to remain as positive about everything as possible. On a lighter note, Fresh Prince and Home Improvement are frigging amazing, I still sometimes watch them. Also, the guy in the picture of the right is Screech from Saved by the Bell, isn't he. I LOVE that show. Like seriously, it's amazing!
Thanks for your rather long essay, I enjoyed it! I'm not really sad, I just had a pretty bad moodswing yesterday. Actually, writing all that got me into that mood, I was happy before, but happy afterwards, too.
Sometimes I'm just afraid of what is to come, seeing as I can't grow younger which means I have to face becoming an adult soon. Just when I woke up I thought about when it was still 6 years until I'd turn 18. This year, it'll only be 2 more years. I wonder where time went!
But change is good. I think I haven't changed for the worse, just for the... more peculiar. It's okay, because it's me. But there's also always a slight doubt, something that keeps me from being completely satisfied with my personality. It's a 'what if I..', which will just never cease to exist. Maybe it's nothing bad, though. I guess it's healthy to not think of oneself as fully perfect because nobody can achieve perfection, thus nobody should never feel the need to become a better person.
I guess for me he was the best, the only one I could have truly intellectual conversations with without being restricted to only saying certain things, as it is with my grandma. (NEVER bring up god or love or anything at all - if we're honest, because she has a different opinion and that's THE ONLY OPINION GODDAMMIT)
But then again he chose to leave his family, flee life and wrap it all up in about three minutes. And that is something he shouldn't have done. I am not mad anymore, though. It's okay. It's too long gone to really have any feelings at all. He was the best dad I could've had, and I am happy to actually having had him as a dad for 12 years.
I've never watched Saved by the Bell, I don't think it has been translated either, but I have heard so much of it! He's Bob Saget, who played Danny Tanner, the goody two-shoes dad of the family. He was always so squeaky clean, but I read an interview with him yesterday because he does stand-up these days. He's supposedly pretty vulgar and dirty onstage, very muchly unlike the image he built during the years in Full House. I like that, though, vulgarity and DIRT are something I enjoy as you know :)
Oh, I just looked it up, it was called 'California High School' in German. How creative <.<
It's okay to try and become a better person but not the 'best' or 'perfect' person. That's just impossible. It probably means something different to each person but I try and make other people feel good (unless they really don't deserve it). But anyway, I think you're a great person as you are, try not to worry too much about that ^^
Man, sounds like you had a close relationship with him. I'm really sorry that had to happen. But the main thing is he's happy, and he wants you to feel happy too. You're a good daughter, and it's good to have real conversations like that with someone ^^ Remember, even though people leave us, great people and things also come in and make us happy. You've got a lot waiting for you in the future
Haha, I can't imagine Screech as a dad... I'm too used to him being a student. It's just crazy XD But I'd definitely recommend you watching some Saved by the Bell (or 'California High School') if you get the time, it can be cheesy at times but it's a classic.
Oh, and Kenan and Kel. That's even funnier
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