Dear Fellow Pawns;
Since November 1st, 1993 I have lived a lie that I can no longer go on with. I have started each of the last 6008 days by convincing myself that McDonald's would bring back the Double ZestaBurger--if only for a limited time and at only select locations. It was the only way I could get myself out of bed and through the day. Alas, I can no longer lie to myself about my future. I now accept that it is bleak. I do not control my destiny, nor my happiness. Like all of you, I am just a pawn in McDonald's global marketing plan. The same company that has returned the McRib 596 limited times in the last 16 years has never given my well-being a second thought.
Well, congratulations, you win. McDonald's 1, Jasmin 0. You have killed my will, spirit and soul; now my body will follow.
Luckily, I will be going to a better place. A place where my happiness won't be controlled by a multi-national conglomeration of fry cooks in cheap suits. While my body will be buried in the same ground where Ray Kroc's is surely spinning; my soul will be with his in heaven. Not here in purgatory controlled by the whims of MBA's from Hamburger U.
Together Ray and I will forever feast on that delicious ambrosia, the Double Zesta Burger.
Sincerely,
Jasmin
P.S. All those gay pornos aren't mine.
P.P.S. And I was superimposed.
P.P.S. And I was superimposed.
7 comments:
No! What are you doing? The Double ZestaBurger has nothing over the Tomato McGrand! Shame it was only ever available in Japan for a short time...
Suicide note generator... xD
Until the end I had NO idea what Su was on about
Another fine selection of links from everyone's favourite luxuriant coral.
Weird... I wonder what's up with that.
Why would people randomly come on blogs and send those links anyway? Don't they have better things to do?
These people get paid to do these things. Anyway, a block feature wouldn't help since they could just come back under a different account.
Being paid to do that... pff, easy money
If I were a spammer, I wouldn't post links to a Chinese website on an English-language blog.
Post a Comment